A Farewell Review? Living With a 2011 Dodge Charger SE

"Blake Noble" (no-bull)
02/03/2014 at 14:54 • Filed to: Reviews, Dodge Charger, Long-Term Test

We first met on a cold, overcast day in February after I had made phone contact through an online ad. We were both looking for companionship before Valentine's Day, tired of one night stands and suitors with indifferent attitudes. That evening, we said our first hellos and made conversation though moderate city traffic, trying our best to pry at our respective pasts. In a short amount of time, I managed to learn my new acquaintance had recently retired from a life of promiscuity, but that didn't matter to me because I myself had been guilty of frequent infidelity in the past. We both wanted a fresh start, and later that night, a new bond between the two of us had been forged, a bond to faithfully serve each other until death do us part.

Was It Lust or Love?

A year has passed since our Sin City-style drive-through wedding. While a first-year anniversary seems small and insignificant to five, ten, or twenty-five year veterans of marriage, it's a big milestone to young budding couples. As you both shower each other with gifts and annoy bitter single males as you cuddle up in the booth behind them at some overpriced two-star restaurant, you're both blissfully unaware that you're actually celebrating that you've made through the first twelve months of what could be a life-long prison sentence where dropping the soap is welcomed.

There are other couples who reach this milestone that don't celebrate. One morning, well before the first anniversary arrives, someone in the party of two realizes that they're on the verge of murdering the other person in cold blood over cliched diatribes like, "Your snoring kept me up all last night," or, "Why can't we keep the damn thermostat at one. Goddamned. Temperature? " The romance has passed, lust's flame extinguished by constant complaining and faults that were never obvious or clear before. What's left after months of couples therapy and the subsequent trial separation period is a bitter and inevitable divorce.

So, I'm not celebrating. We're not celebrating. This Dodge Charger — my Dodge Charger — is a great car, but its not what I thought it would be.

I Get No Support In Our Relationship

This particular Dodge Charger was built in 2011 and finished in Tungsten Metallic. It's first owner wasn't an individual, but a Hertz Rent-A-Car airport rental desk in Louisville, Kentucky. It's the SE model, which translates to "hold the trimmings, forget the bacon and cheese, just give me bread and meat to dry-swallow." You don't get the 8.4 UConnect infotainment system with it's fancy iPad-sized touch screen; you don't get heated leather seats or chilled cup holders; you don't get 20 inch chrome-clad rims and tires. I would include the ZF-sourced eight-speed automatic in that "don't get" list, but in 2011 every trim (that includes the Hemi-powered models) made due with the old Mercedes-derived W5A580 five-speed boat anchor.

What the entry-level SE trim affords you instead is the 4.3 UConnect system, which works just as well as the 8.4 system if you don't care about sat-nav. However, due to it's smaller size, it looks like an aftermarket bargain-bin headunit installed by some douchebag at Best Buy with a bleach-blonde fauxhawk and tattoo sleeves. The trinket shelf located below the 4.3 system doesn't help the fact either. The wheels are 17 inch units that look comically small in relation to the Charger's size. Make no mistake about it, this car was designed with big wheels and "bling-bling" in mind.

The seats are clad in typical base-model cloth that, after sixty-three thousand miles and some odd change, hasn't aged well and have grown increasingly uncomfortable with every long distance trip. Seriously. After a two hour trip, I wonder sometimes if I don't have scoliosis or a slipped disc in the small of my back, and there's no lumbar support to help things. I'd really like to know who in the hell over at Chrysler signed off on throwing these terrible wicker patio chairs in base model Chargers, especially considering that the seats that a base model Challenger offers are far more supportive.

It's Not Like Things Were Bad Under The Sheets

Pop the hood and you'll see Chrysler's 3.6 liter Pentastar V6 with variable valve timing. In the Charger and related Chrysler 300, this particular powerplant produces a respectable 292 horsepower and 260 lb-ft of torque. Fuel economy with the 3.6 in the Charger is rated at 18 city, 27 highway, but I've averaged about 24 miles per gallon since I bought the car. Other than that, it's quiet, reliable, and smooth and there's really nothing to complain about. In fact, I'm actually bored talking about it.

What drags down a genuinely excellent motor, however, is a rotten transmission. The W5A-what-the-hell-ever has to be one of the laziest and bitchiest transmissions I've ever had the misfortune of dealing with. It's slow to upshift and too eager to downshift unless you want to pass other motorists on the freeway, in which case it responds with harsh cursing and menopausal yelling. It's even worse when you want to use the AutoStick feature, which is about as good of a substitute for a manual transmission as a bottle of Lubriderm and a night on PicHunter is a substitute for — ahem! — "meaningful relations." Manipulating the transmission manually does nothing to circumvent the transmission's flaws; it's still dimwitted about changing gear.

Performance with the five-speed slushbox suffers compared to newer iterations with the ZF eight-speed unit. Reaching 60 from 0 takes a few ticks over 7 seconds in a 2011 Charger versus 6.5 seconds in a similar 2014 model. That's another flaw with the dastardly Daimler automatic: it wastes too much of the power the Pentastar V6 has to offer. Despite it's handicap, it can still walk away from most typical family sedans between traffic lights.

For a large car, the handling is delightful. The Charger isn't ashamed of its size and weight, but it also doesn't let it slow it down through the corners. It remains spry and confident in the bends with very little body roll. The steering has a nice weighted feel that, sadly, doesn't offer much feedback to the driver.

We Never Kiss "Good Morning" Anymore

Despite all of the flaws, my Charger has still been a great car. It's been mostly fun to drive, easy on gas, reliable, and it's still a looker. The styling is a perfect throwback to the original second-generation Dodge Charger without being a blatant rip-off. If you spend the extra money for some of the appearance options, it's probably the sexiest large car on the road today since the '90s Chevrolet Impala SS. But those flaws ... I can't ignore them anymore.

We've tried to patch our relationship up. When I noticed the seats were sagging, I looked around for a nice set of implants that could fit our budget. Everything was out of my reach. Like, literally too. The nearest set of SRT8 seats on eBay were somewhere around Michigan and southern Canada and had a buy-it-now price of a grand minus shipping.

A set of 20 inch factory rims aren't cheap, especially once you tally the cost of new rubber into the price. On top of that, I've recently noticed some of the interior trim rattles and the dash squeaks in the general area around the steering column over every roadway scab. The intermediate shaft groans and complains at low shopping mall parking lot speeds. I don't know why all of this nagging began. I just want to come home at night and relax now.

I knew I should've signed a prenup.

DISCUSSION (19)

Mathias Rios > Blake Noble
02/03/2014 at 15:42

Nice review! Quick question, is the transmission also called the NAG-1? Or was this the NAG-2? I ask because the 722.6 transmission which is the same transmission in my ML320 is also the NAG-1. I am interested in the parts sharing these companies do and love to track them. Thanks

Blake Noble > Mathias Rios
02/03/2014 at 15:45

I believe the W5A580 is the same as the NAG1.

NAG ... What an appropriate name.

Mathias Rios > Blake Noble
02/03/2014 at 16:10

I always wonder what would happen if my transmission theoretically went out and I replaced it with one of these later NAG1 models. I wonder if there are improvements? My little 3.2V6 doesn't make that much power to begin with but I find the transmission decent for what it is. It does like to downshift harshly sometimes when slowing down.

Dunnik > Blake Noble
02/03/2014 at 16:28

If you know what I know and see what I see, you'd never buy an ex-rental car.

Incidentally, I saw a 2004 Impala SS for just under $8k the other day. The car is quite possibly at the bottom of its depreciation curve, and it may just go up from here. Go buy that!

I think that if you love big, powerful Ahmurican cars, you'd love the SS. I really like my beige on beige '02 LS, and only wish it had a supercharger, twin pipes, black on black leather, sunroof, trip computer...

Blake Noble > Mathias Rios
02/03/2014 at 18:01

That's a good question. I could see the bellhousing possibly being different, but don't hold me to that.

M54B30 > Blake Noble
02/03/2014 at 19:22

Very interesting. I'm looking at replacing my 530i with a charger. It has everything I like - big, smooth, RWD, safe, etc. - but with a more usable trunk.

Sadly, my student loans have me looking at used base models myself so this really intrigued me. I understand your issues - cheap looking small screen, cheap seats, et al, but they don't really turn me off. They would irk me but potential savings would help me overcome them.

Honestly though, I think I'd take a year or two older SXT over a newer SE. Dunno. I'm still a bit away from pulling any triggers.

The Compromiser > M54B30
02/03/2014 at 20:13

I have a previous gen. SXT. It is decent. It also was a rental but was soooo solid I turned down a lease return ( re: all the bells and whistles) 300 for it. I love the simplicity of black everything and when I look at it I see the charger of the past. I half expect the wife to knock out a window and start shooting at mustangs.

They were rough when the started back in the aughts with them and had a lot of growing pains. They got good near the end though ( mine is from the last run before they changed bodies). They have started to correct what was wrong and I think a more current one would be solid versus the first year of the change (2011) I have been eyeballing Challengers but anything short of a hemi makes it kinda like the mustang. You could get an awesome car with power, style and masculinity, but you bought a mustang instead. ;)

Jk. The mustang is pretty sweet and the Shelby kicks tail.

Blake Noble > Dunnik
02/03/2014 at 20:43

My parents bought two ex- rentals and they were always problematic, especially the last one — a '06 Pontiac G6 V6 SE ( say that five times fast). I should've learned ...

I like big affordable rear-drive American sedans. The '90s Impala SS, the Mercury Marauder, Charger, 300, and so on. The Supercharged W- Body Impala SS models are interesting, but I'm not a big fan of its handling.

Blake Noble > M54B30
02/03/2014 at 21:14

I hate to admit it, but I found one or two circa 2006 to 2007 R/T model Chargers with 50,000 on the clock for about the same price to a few thousand less I paid for my '11 SE (roughly $16k). That's the ticket, honestly. The older SE and SXT models have the 3.5L V6, which isn't a bad engine (it powered a '10 Challenger SE I had), but it also leaves room for improvement.

Something I intended to mention in the review is that, for me, the car isn't completely engaging. But that's why you buy a rear-drive roadster or coupe with a stick, right?

M54B30 > Blake Noble
02/03/2014 at 21:16

Ahh I forgot to clarify I meant an older, 2nd generation (current style) Charger. Thanks for the info though. It'll either be a Charger or Optima, unless my wife figures out how convenient a minivan is with all our baby crap in the meantime.

Brian Silvestro > Blake Noble
02/04/2014 at 17:09

Very interesting and honest review. I've heard from many places how bad that 5-speed is. It's a shame they only sold these cars in automatics, and the 8-speeds is supposedly miles better. As for the Pontiac, have you asked yourself why you chose it? There are some other options.

Blake Noble > Brian Silvestro
02/04/2014 at 17:42

Thanks! That's my biggest gripe about this car, the terrible five-speed automatic and the fact that there isn't a manual offered. It's not like someone at Chrysler couldn't retrofit the Wrangler's six-speed manual reworked for shorter throws and a better feel for the clutch. At least with the eight-speed you can turn your nose up at a BMW owner.

I liked the Pontiac Solstice because of it's styling, handling, and the fact it's a parts bin special that should be cheap to work on. It was also pretty fun to drive. Another factor is price and mileage; I can get an '07 model with a little under 70k miles for $8900 before TTL.

Brian Silvestro > Blake Noble
02/04/2014 at 17:49

I'd much rather have the 8spd V6 Charger than an 8spd 328i. And and those are all great points about the solstice, I just don't like them for some reason.

V8Demon - Prefers Autos for drag racing. Fite me! > Blake Noble
02/04/2014 at 18:01

Weird. Same transmission in my Nitro R/T. Mine goes for the highest gear it can get itself into. At 30 MPH it wants to be in FOURTH.

It's reluctant to downshift as well. It like to make the motor lug to the point it has a negative effect on fuel economy. The select shift in mine actually isn't too bad. It takes a while to get smooth with it.

Danger > Blake Noble
02/11/2014 at 15:32

"Despite it's handicap, it can still walk away from most typical family sedans between traffic lights."

It doesn't count when the soccer moms don't know you're racing.

Blake Noble > Danger
02/11/2014 at 15:35

No. But it does count when Ms. Soccer Mom's teenaged son borrows her Malibu.

Danger > Blake Noble
02/11/2014 at 23:08

Glad you got to put some notches in your belt. Were you wearing mirrored aviators while laying the slush-box smack down?

Blake Noble > Danger
02/11/2014 at 23:18

Nah, brah. Wayfarers all day, er'yday.

BlackLab > Blake Noble
03/02/2014 at 19:11

It's amazing it works at all considering its an ex-rental car. I never buy a car like that. All people do to those cars is hoon them.